As the calendar turns to May, my favorite, and arguably the most important holiday, is here— Mother’s Day! ((Listen, I’m not kidding… every day should be Mother’s Day 🙃)) This day represents our opportunity to collectively pause, recognize, and honor mothers for their nurturance, boundless love, unpaid labor of caregiving, and commitment to family.
Over the years, I’ve witnessed a lot of partners struggle in figuring out ways to honor their partner who is also a mother and truthfully drop the ball on taking the lead to making her feel special on Mother’s Day. But… you don’t have to do that!
Think of this blog post as, “the partner’s guide to not fucking up Mother’s Day”… Or maybe a better working title of “How to make Mother’s Day special for momma.” Either way, you get what I mean but let it be known that the first title made me laugh out loud and really portrayed my point. The following are suggestions of what I’ve found what most mothers want for on Mother’s Day. And, honestly, it’s very little in return on the investment they put in with their child(ren), family, and overall our society. So here are some ideas of ways to show your appreciation to momma on her day!
A card or handwritten letter in your own way, write something heartfelt and express your appreciation for her (momma loves to feel seen for the work she does and hear that she’s doing a really great job!)
A meaningful keepsake a craft made by your child that you helped them create (peek at ideas here), a piece of jewelry that has the names of her child(ren) on it, or even a photo that your captured when she was in her element of “momming” that you get framed (because so often she’s taking photos of everyone else and would really adore a photo of her).
What she wants to do this is where I encourage you to ask her what she wants to do because every person is different. Some momma’s want to get a long work out in on their day without the children interrupting, others want go to Mother’s Day brunch and spend the day together shopping, and some just want to wear coordinating sweatshirts with their little person— go for a hike— and eat donuts. (Oh… that’s me!)
Partners! use these steps to figure out what she wants to do… Step One: Ask (try this, “my sweetheart… what do you want to do for your day on Mother’s Day?”)
Step Two: Listen (listen to her answer, maybe ask a clarifying question to make sure you’re hearing her and understanding correctly what she is hoping for… I recommend you take some notes.)
Step Three: Apply (take what she says, and make it happen! Not only make it happen, but make it happen in a way that she has little to plan for or actually do.)
A service based gift momma would really love a gift she can use to pour into herself. Think a gift card to a body worker so she can get a massage or a session with me for her to prioritize her personal development (peek at services here). Make it something that she will use that isn’t necessarily an item to take up more space in the house.
Nourishment most momma’s love when others supportively nourish with food and beverage— I’ve heard, and can confirm, that breakfast and coffee in bed or a picnic lunch are some great ways to do this! Just remember to make it so that she doesn’t have to plan or put anything together.
Rest support her to get some rest… this could look like letting her sleep in, taking the lead on the kids’ schedule to allow for her to get a long nap in, or even giving her space to get outside and read a book uninterrupted. She should be able to put her feet up and take a load off!
There you have it! My hope is you take these suggestions to heart and use some or, even better, all of them this Mother’s Day.
Go ahead! Make it a badass Mother’s Day… momma deserves it. 😎
In gratitude,
Brittany DeNucci
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