Why is being a new parent so hard? by Brittany DeNucci

Becoming a new parent is one of the most challenging, yet rewarding, transitions in life. It is a time of welcoming a new baby, learning new skills, renegotiating roles and expectations of family members, shifts in self-identity and priorities, and an evolution of deep deep love. But the lack of sleep, loss of privacy and personal time, and the uncertainty and stress can make it really hard.

One of the biggest challenges I talk with new parents about is the lack of sleep. Newborns have a very different sleep schedule than adults, and, simply put, it is just hard to adjust! The age old adage of telling new parents to, “sleep when the baby sleeps,” while it may be well intended, it isn’t supportive. Many find themselves waking up multiple times a night to feed, change, or comfort their baby which makes it really hard to get in restorative sleep. This can lead to a constant state of fatigue which can make it hard to function or even feel like yourself during the day.

Another challenge of being a new parent is the loss of privacy and personal time. Before having a baby, you may have had a lot of time to yourself to relax, pursue hobbies, have a professional life, spend time with friends, enjoy intimacy and sex with your partner, etc. But with a baby, you are now constantly on the clock, taking care of their needs and making sure they are safe and healthy. It is so hard to find time for yourself and to maintain relationships outside of being a parent.

It's also a time of great uncertainty and stress, as you're responsible for a tiny human being. There are so many things to worry about: Is the baby getting enough to eat? How should I wash their bottles? Are they sleeping enough or too much? Are they developing properly? They just sneezed, are they sick?? It's hard not to worry because this experience is so new and you just want what is best for your baby.

However, despite all the challenges, being a new parent is incredibly rewarding. You get to watch your baby grow— reaching developmental milestones like smiling back at you, laughing, and mimicking your expressions— which is a joy like no other and it's amazing to experience how significantly they can change your life. When talking with new mommas about their experience of becoming a parent, I often hear them say, “don’t get me wrong, it’s exhausting— but I can’t imagine my life without them.”

Becoming a new parent is a time of love— growth— and learning. It’s a time when you’re embracing new parts of yourself and tending to your needs in a different way. It’s essential to take care of yourself during this season, surround yourself with supportive people, and ask for help when you need it (and even when you think you don’t).

Warmly,

Britta

Brittany DeNucci

Brittany DeNucci